Vince Young is leaving us!  Why, Vince, why???  Didn’t we treat you well?  You’ll be a God if you just come back for one more year.  I can’t believe he’s gone.  I can’t believe he’s going.  I can’t believe our amazing team must die.  Vince Young helped us believe in love.  I can’t believe you disagree.  I can’t believe this is…goodbye.  We were long overdue for a Rent reference, people.

Speaking of long overdue, why has nobody been updating recently?  Brandon hasn’t updated in a month.  Yes, the same Brandon that once updated with computer-crashing 4000 word stories daily for our reading pleasure.  I hear he’s updating tonight, but that really all depends on how bored he gets / what movies  finish downloading.  Leahanne, I left a message for you on your forum days ago and still no update.  Veronica, I expected more from you.  Ho-anna, when you admit that you should be writing more but are too lazy, you’re right.  You should, and must write more.  I don’t comment on half entries.  Katie, I gave up hope long ago.  Surprise me.  I need my juice, people.  I’m a freaking continent away and every time I try to talk to someone they’re on their way out the door.  Even Leahanne blew me off to go cook food at five o’clock today!  You haven’t seen me in two weeks!  Look at me, look at me!  Joanna gets 40 Damn-Damns for emailing me an update of what’s going on in her life.  She even got the juicy gossip about my trip first.  See what happens when you fuel my ego…

Back to me.  My trip here is coming to an end, which is sad.  I’m looking forward to spending a few days in the Wood, though.  Friendswood, by the way, is the real wood.  I’m so sure of this fact that I don’t even need to put quotation marks around it, like Joanna does with the Woodlands.  The honor of being called the Wood is not something that you earn simply by having more trees.  To argue that this was the case would be rediculous.  Being the Wood is so much more.  It’s about the spirit of a community, and the adventures that occur within it.  For further illustration, I recommend picking up The Wood seasons 1-6 and it’s follow up The Wood: The Next Generation when they hit shelves in 10-12 years.  Besides, saying that the Woodlands is the Wood just doesn’t make sense…it’s just like stopping midway.  The wood in Friendswood comes at the end, which is where it should be found if you want to use it as a name.  It’s the Station, not the College.

I made the best playlist ever for the train ride last week.  It’s my slow, folk-heavy playlist that is perfect for winter, or all year round if you’re soul-less like me. (Katherine maintains that I have a soul, I just lost it.  One day I’m gonna open up a DVD – which I believe will be When Harry Met Sally… - and find it again.)  The playlist kicks off with my newest obsession, Joshua Radin, before leading in to some Colin Hay, Imogen Heap and my all-time favorite, Ryan Adams.  It then touches on anything from Dylan to Postal Service to Elton John.  It’s the playlist I’ve been trying to make for the last two years.  The songs all capture the perfect mood that is relaxing and fitting to more than one emotional state.  If you’re lucky I might just let you listen to all five hours of it some day.  Anyway, I made the playlist for my trip to London and listened to it while we crossed the Channel to visit my friend Geoff (G to the eoff, to me).

London was magnificent.  It’s my second favorite city in the world.  After meeting up with Geoff we headed back to his house, which is owned by singer Richard Ashcroft.  It’s hilarious, because his house is basically four stories with a huge garden, and it is surrounded by little one story cottages with fifty square feet of yard space.  It was over 300 years old, and had the historic feel that you can only find in Europe.  After spending the first night there telling scary stories and having a ridiculously long conversation about serial killers, we went into the city the following morning.  When we got off the tube at Leicester Square, the buildings all around us looked fake.  It looked exactly like it did in the movies, and the sky was (for once) beautiful.  After walking around the Square, we had fish and chips at a local bar, made fun of the Asian restaurant next door that was named Poons, and bought tickets to see Les Miserables that night.  After that we went shopping somewhere.  By “we” I of course mean “the girls”.  I went to Borders, bought the 200th Empire, and met Davide and Geoff at a pub.  Brandon, the issue is awesome, and they have an amazing ILM montage on one of the pages.  the 201 greatest movies are coming on the next issue, which should be awesome too!  Anyway, that night we saw the show which was phenomenal.  I was very excited when I heard the first notes of “On My Own”, though.  I nearly kicked the guy in front of me as I turned to Alexia and said (in a voice far too loud for the theatre), “I know this song from Dawson’s Creek! Joey sings it!!”  Thankfully, she too knew of the glorious episode in which Joey competes in the beauty pageant.  After the show, we went out to eat for Alexia and Davide’s birthday at Little Italy, a restaurant near Leicester Square.  We then caught the last train to to Richmond (Geoff’s town) and began playing drinking games to Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.  We drank whenever Austin said “yeah, baby!”, whenever Dr. Evil put his pinky to his mouth and whenever a penis or ass joke was made.  Unfortunately, most people went to bed before anything really stupid happened.

We woke up the next day at 14:00 (2 PM for you un-international readers) amazed that we had wasted half of the day.  After sitting around for hours, trying to decide whether or not we were going to go into the city (I was very adamently in favor of going – to the point of annoying everybody else), we headed to Leicester Square again to look at ticket prices.  Half of the group (Lauren, Patricia and Geoff) decided to go see the limited screening of Brokeback Mountain, while the rest of us (Rachel, Alexia, Davide and I) went to see The Producers: The Musical.  I saw the show on Broadway back in December 2002, and it was just as great the second time around.  Seeing two West End shows in two nights was great, and I’m really glad we were able to work it out so that I could waste all of my money doing it!  That night we went back to Geoff’s house and proceeded to recount the olden days of high school, while slowly getting more and more drunk.  By the end of the night lots of bizarre information had been shared, people had gone to the bathroom far too many times, Geoff punched his computer screen as hard as he could in a moment of drunken stupidity and the girls depressed everyone by putting on The Notebook.  Later that night, when I went to brush my teeth, I heard noises coming from Rachel and Alexia’s room (they had “gone to sleep” an hour before), so I went in there and we ended up talking for awhile before everyone else slowly made their way into the room.  By 4 AM we had six people on a small bed, all laughing so loud that we actually woke Geoff’s mom up.  In the morning we all got packed, headed down to the train station and barely made our train (I had to keep the door from closing twice), didn’t have time to give Geoff a proper goodbye, and then  barely made the Eurostar back to Brussels (we were on the LAST car, all the way at the end of the platform).

It was great seeing Geoff again, and seeing that absolutely nothing has changed with him.  I really missed being together with all of my friends, and the three days we spent in London are really precious to me.  I don’t know when we’ll all be together again, but knowing that we can be gone this long without anything changing is really refreshing.  Change is one of the hardest things to deal with in the transition from high school to college to professional life, and little things like this make it much easier.

The last few days have been really lazy.  Davide and I have just been hanging out at his house, watching Scrubs and hoping that some act of God suspends time so that we never have to go back.  He leaves in about two hours, and I’m gonna miss the hell out of him.  I didn’t realize how long it had been, or how much I missed him until this trip, but that’s probably a good thing.  I still think of him as if we’ve been apart for a month and not eighteen.  When I lose that, it’ll be bad.  You’ll all know, though, because I’ll spend all of my time looking at pictures and watching old tapes of Pippin from high school.  Anyway, Davide, if you’re reading this, I had an amazing time and I’m gonna do everything in my power to make sure we see each other again this summer.

So that’s what been going on since my last update.  Just your usual…I downloaded the first two episodes from the newest Scrubs season.  The first episode was painfully mediocre and I didn’t really like the whole intern camera thing / the whole intern thing.  Plus, having Elliot at another hospital was a bad mistake.  BAD.  You need to keep them all in the same hospital.  I don’t care how unrealistic it actually is.  Anyway, I thought the “MAN” cards were great and the second episode helped return the show to it’s usual level.  I just hope that Elliot goes back to Sacred Heart and the writers realize how retarded it was to ever change something that worked as well as Scrubs did.  Also, I can’t wait until spring when they release the third season and, more importantly, “My Screw Up”, the greatest episode of the show.

Ok, well it’s now 5:47 and I have to wake up to say goodbye to Davide in an hour.  I’ll probably still be up adding pictures when he awakes, but I’m just trying to begin to wrap up my entry (Note: when I finished it was exactly 6:47 – weird).  For those of you that matter, I get in to Houston around 2:00 on Wednesday (1/12).  Since neither of my parents seem to care, they’re sending a driver to pick me up.  When I was talking to my mom on the phone yesterday I thought she was kidding.  I responded with  a “yeah, is that where all our money is going, woman?  Why don’t you and dad just save money by picking me up in the Navi’ and buy me a Lexus?”  She proceeded to say, “she’ll have a placard with you name and just call my cell phone when you get home to let me know you arrived alright.”  She was for real.  It makes a bit more sense when I explain that neither of them are going to be in Houston at the time, and that she is charging it to her company, but still.  All that matters is that I’ll be cruising to the Wood in style as the perfect ending to my European vacation.  God, I love being pretentious. 

Speaking of pretentious, Katherine and I decided that the Perfects’ new hobby is going to be sailing, so I’ll learn and teach everyone else (with the help of Veronica, hopefully).  In the meantime we can just spend time on Veronica’s yacht talking about sailing.  As Katherine said earlier today, “how can you have a wealthy, pseudo-intellectual group of crime-fighting philanthropists who do not know how to sail?”  Well that’s all for now.  I hope everyone’s vacations are going well and I’ll update sometime before school starts.

WHY VINCE, WHY?!!!

This is for Katherine:

Wardryan: koozies are just funny
Katherine: and pointless
Katherine: but that’s just my opinion
Wardryan: yeah, I agree
Wardryan: just hold the damn drink
Katherine: if you can’t handle it
Katherine: you don’t deserve to drink it

Tonight is the first cold night of the year, and like a werewolf I transform into my high school self. I don’t know what it is about cold weather, but it makes me want to put on my jacket, pull out Gandalf the White and just walk around campus endlessly. I really wish that I could just sleep all day and live at night. It’s possibly my favorite feeling.

I really love everything about fall and winter. They are the perfect months. There’s something really tempting about that “writer’s life”, living in a cabin in a small town during the winter months. I’ve decided recently that I’m a cold-weather person. I like the clothing, the scenery and the general feeling it gives you. Texas was a great choice…

I swear I act like a woman, sometimes. Mood swings up the ass. This morning I was happy, listening to Fall Out Boy and Minus the Bear (who were great live, last night)…now it’s nothing but Radiohead and Sigur Ros. Ironically, this depressing music makes me happy. Speaking of music, tickets go on sale for Ben Folds tomorrow! I don’t know how long the lines are going to be, but they open at noon, and I have class. I really hope they don’t sell out of student tickets because I’m pretty sure I’d cry…and then buy one of the $30 tickets.

This week has been pretty good…no tests, not a whole lot of work. At least not the last two days. I’ve actually be able to go out a bit. Last night was the concert, then tonight I watched Wedding Crashers with Ve-Ve, Ar-cub (and his friend Pry) and Ho-anna. I had to miss the O.C. for the second consecutive week, however! I feel like I’m losing my morals. I have time for Lost, but not Seth and Summer? You’ve got to admit, though, Lost has been really freaking good this year…Oh, I heard the best pick-up line at the movie tonight.  “If I was Oedipus, I’d want you to be my mom”.  Genius.

I just realized that I never finished my memorable characters, and the top 20 all have the text from Lloyd Dobbler. Whatever, I’ll fix it when I feel like it. You can just learn how to deal. For instructions, please insert your copy of the now classic film. It’s weird that I haven’t had the desire to update anything on my website for so long…it used to be my life. It’d be understandable if I was actually out doing something interesting, but that’s definitely not the case. I’m just getting lazier, in general. It’s a great quality to have when you’re trying not to fail out of college. Speaking of failing out of college, I wonder how Kistie is doing at a real university. I worry, because he was having trouble this summer at almost-college-college and I’m not sure if he’ll know how to deal….I think I just realized what his (late) birthday present is going to be!

UT/OU game is this weekend. We’re going to be watching it over here and everyone’s invited. That includes all of you crazy Belgians, too! I’ll be disappointed if none of you show up. But yeah, it should be fun getting drunk before noon again…I mean, for once. If we don’t win this year, then I’m probably going to get in my gap-toothed Saab and run over Vince Young. OU is the worst they’ve been in years, and we need to take advantage of them while they’re drunk and easy. Also, the Astros need to start kicking the shit out of the Braves. The series is tied 1-1, but the next two games are going to be in Houston. The Astros rarely lose in Houston…especially in the playoffs. Anyway, Saturday is going to be a good, hetero-affirming day of sports. I should drink beer and get into fights, just to prove my manliness.
I’d like to give a whiteboy shout out to my homegirl Joanna.  10 Damn-Damns to you!  Another 2 if you can go back and figure out the history/significance of them.  Also, 3 Damn-Damns if you can take something from my Rants Archives and use it randomly in conversation over the next few days.  While I’m handing out Damn-Damns that I’ll never actually add to the list, Katherine gets 25 for finding a boy and finally realizing that it wasn’t her…it was the rest of the world that was crazy by not recognizing that she was the most perfect of the Perfects.  I hope you and Charlie (the male Katherine) are very happy, and that the adults give you permission to date…

Ok, well I still have homework to do, and I want to watch tv/read comics. No pictures this time.  Later, bitches.
I’m back now…and it’s October 17th.  Thanks, Kistie…it only took two weeks.  If I actually paid to have him host my site I would be really mad right now.  I’m a moocher, though, so I can’t say anything.  Basically, Joanna already saw the previous entry when I first wrote it, but now the moment has pretty much passed.  It’s not cold anymore, and God knows when it will be again.

Sports make my life happy.  UT is doing amazing, holding strong at #2.  This weekend we’re playing the undefeated Texas Tech (who has been such amazing schools as _____ and _____).  Should be pretty awesome, with us showing them what a real offense is like.  For further information see Vince Young (n).  Also, the Astros are kicking some ass.  We are one game away from going to the World Series, and have our three best pitchers to end the series.  If we can’t pull this off, I’m going to cry.  Seriously.  Update: I want to shoot Albert Pujols in the face.  I feel like crying…

Anyway, that’s all for now.  I’d keep writing, but I care about the Astros more than my friends.  If only I was joking…

I’m in Metro procrastinating and I thought I’d give a shout out to Ve-Ve. I was surprised to not find her here, but I guess she has to go out every once and a while. Anyway, this week I’m having a lot of trouble finding the motivation to do my work. I have a test tomorrow and a paper due Thursday but that’s really it. The test is in philosophy which I know pretty well (and we’re reviewing tonight) and I’ll do the paper the day it’s due. Maybe Artsy Avenger can draw my paper for me and make it real. That would be awesome.

I’m gonna update my wish list with a bunch of really cheap stuff so if you guys have any left-over money after buying Brandon’s half-Birthday present than you can get me something. Oh, and my friend Alexia just sent me my Birthday card from last year. She sealed it, addressed it and forgot to send it until she found it over Christmas break. Anyway, it was hilarious, and I loved it. I can’t wait to send her 20th Birthday card a month before she turns 21.

So camping is official! Yea! I can’t wait for Friday…the sooner I’m out of here the better. Ok, well to please Leahanne and waste some more time I’ll list some of the things I would like to do before I die.

* Go back to Europe with all of my friends.

* Go to New Zealand, buy some property and reconstruct Hobbiton.

* Own all of my top 100 (According to my current top 100, I own 69…yeah, I know.)

* Produce a movie.

* Produce a movie by MNL Studios.

* Act in a movie.

* Take a spontaneous road trip with a friend.
* Go to a World Series game.

* Live in New York City.

* Spend a month in Japan.

Own an awesome studio loft apartment.

Write my memoirs (how pretentious am I?)

Design, build and live in my own mansion.

Donate ridiculous amounts of money to the College of Liberal Arts so that they can build a building that will make the School of Business look like dog shit.

* Kill Clint Eastwood with his Oscars.

* Give his Oscars to Martin Scorsese.

* Blow up Stanford, Columbia, Duke and Yale.

* Spend a year traveling the world by boat, writing and taking pictures.

* Learn Greek.

* Live in Mystras, Greece for a summer (my grandma’s village)

Ok, that’s enough for now. Most of them involve living overseas for a period of time. I really want to do that once I retire. Hopefully I’ll have earned enough money in life to afford this lifestyle but I’ll honestly be thrilled if I end up doing a quarter of the things on this list.

So expect an update to the top 100 pretty soon. I’ve printed out over 130 covers and plan on “laminating” them tonight instead of studying. For those of you who don’t see me regularly, I’m making a poster of my top 100 movies that will hang on my wall. I stole the idea from Brandon who stole the idea and format of his Top 100 list from me, so it’s all good. I don’t know whether I should put the posters on the board with ticky-tack or velcro, though. Velcro seems like it would last longer but it’s more or a hassle. Anyway, I’ll decide next week. Now I think I’m going to put in a good ten minutes of work and then surf the internet for porn, or hentai, or naked pictures of Gosha. Mmm, Gosha.

So I tried to post what’s above last night but someone sucks at life. I’m not gonna name names, but it starts with Kistenmacher and ends with tard face. Anyway, last night at dinner Veronica and Steph decided that they wanted me to have sex before my birthday and offered me $100 if I could do it. I find it funny that they want me to get laid more than I do. Veronica even tried to pimp me out to my friend Erin, who signed over her body in exchange for an ab machine. Jose also listed off all of the sluts he knows in San Antonio so if I’m desperate to prove myself and earn $100 I have my options.

Speaking of desperate, last night Veronica and I decided that Katie would sleep with me if Veronica promised to date her afterwards. Then we made fun of her run/walk for about ten minutes. That, and her ginormous jugs. Ok, I’m late for a meeting. Later.

So today started out on a great note! My sociology professor agreed to take my paper after hearing what had happened. So that was awesome. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, but I did eat a pack of fruit snacks that was amazing. I’m fairly confident that fruit snacks are one of my favorite foods. Especially the dinosaur ones, those are definitely the best! Of course, with any foods that resemble people or animals, I soon revert to my five year old self and place them in sexual positions. You’d think I would’ve gotten over that by now.

Anyway, I’m so excited about all the work that the A&M kids are doing on the Perfects. I just wish I could be there so I could help out more. I am trying to think of something else Captain Emo can do. While my power is useful as an offensive weapon, I would like something else that would compare to the amazing powers that everyone else has. I guess one person always has to have the crappier power, though. I’m kinda like Cyclops, except instead of optic blasts all I have are my tears. Yeah, I could kick his ass any day. Anyway, Brandon, Katie, Leahanne and Katherine, if you think of anything just let me know.

So this weekend I am going on a leadership retreat in New Braunfels. Honestly, I’m going for the free food. I don’t really know anyone else that’s gonna be there, so expect an emo update on Sunday night. That said, I’ll try to “appreciate the little things” and have a good time. If only I didn’t hate people…

Yesterday, Jose and Roger went overboard x100000 with Valentine’s Day and it made me want to puke. But only because they’re gay and I think that all queers should burn in hell. Seriously though, they each decorated each other’s dorm room with balloons and streamers and stupid stuffed animals. Jose’s balloon bouquet even sang! How ridiculous is that? With all the Valentine’s spirit in the air, I had to get out of the room for fear of losing my ability to “Tear On”. I was able to gain enough strength to finally go to bed, however, after watching last year’s SNL Valentine’s Day episode. Darrell Hammond looks so much like Al Gore that it’s freaky. He’s great at most of his impressions, but that one was dead on. “Tip, John Kerry is super excited about my endorsement!” “That’s nice honey, why don’t you go upstairs and change into your pajamas now.”

If I was cool enough to do private posts like Brandon then I would…but I just don’t have the power to keep you from reading the private messages the way he does. Anyway, I just wanted to say to Brandon and Katie that we’d love it if you moved here, but understand whatever your decision ends up being. Veronica, however, will kill you both if you don’t choose Austin. I’m not saying that should affect your decision, but she’s serious. Now let’s look at the outcomes: 1) Ya’ll decide to stay in College Station. Veronica kills you both. You die. She’ll probably kill Leahanne and Katherine too. 2) Ya’ll decide to move to Austin. Veronica buys you lots of presents. You live. ionopohi, but that seems like an easy choice to me.

Hello and good day. I haven’t updated in a while because I’ve been busy having an amazing time studying and hanging out with the coolest people on earth. That’s right, we went to the center of bigotry and ignorance that is College Station. Luckily, most of the kids they’re aren’t in the corps. In fact, four of them have managed to remain pretty normal. Normal for f-ing Perfect nerds, that is. We spent all weekend drawing pictures of our characters and the evil, slutty, obese villain that attempt to disrupt order in the Wood. I’d like to introduce the world to Captain Emo, and his sidekick Emo Kid. Emo Kid stands well over six feet, but we all know that sidekicks can’t be taller than the hero. With that in mind, Emo Kid crouches at all times as a sign of respect to the true captain of emo. Additionally, if my iPod dies, he sings when I must “Tear On!”

Aside of comic nerdiness, College Station was amazing! It was great to be back together and we had a blast staying up late, watching hentai (ahhh!!!!!) and eating as often as possible. Hopefully we’ll be able to go back soon and visit again. In other news, I redecorated the board by my bed with pictures, drawings of the Perfects and an O.C. sign I stole in College Station (Aggies don’t steal but Longhorns sure as hell do!). Anyway, it’s 1:15 and I have to wake up in less than six hours so I’m going to go to bed. Yes, that’s a good idea. I’ll try to update tomorrow after the gloriousness that is the O.C.

So the Perfects are really starting to take shape! We’ve worked out some of the details, and changed my superhero name to the awesome Captain Emo. All we need now is names for Ve-Ve and Steph and then we can really get to work (they didn’t like Redneck Ronnie and Asian Girl). I almost think this post should be under the comics section, but I’ll refrain from that until we’ve actually started drawing the characters.

As you all know, the Perfects are native to The Wood and therefore have their headquarters, the Perfect Mansion in the center of town. That’s right, the ten acre mansion on Sunset is the new home of the Perfects. I always said I was going to buy that house one day, just to show how powerful I was. Now it’s not just my dream, but every one of the Perfects. Of course, the current house just won’t do. It must be much bigger and more amazing. We plan on buying the property surrounding the Perfect Mansion (all the way out to the Junior High) in order to accommodate our various training and leisure facilities. We’ll also have to build up the property so we can have at least two basement floors. Hopefully we’ll come up with more of the design soon, but I assure you it will be fucking perfect.

In other news, I’d like to say that I loved all of the rankings yesterday. I especially liked Leahanne’s rankings. It’s like she catered it to me. Pool playing skills, blonde hair and blue eyed-ness, nerdiness. Come on, Leahanne, give everyone else a shot. I also enjoyed Brandon’s and his quest to scientifically prove what everyone knows: Kistenmacher is a nerd. I look forward to ranking everything in my life, with Katie getting the short end of the stick every time. That’s what you get for ranking your friends itch! It’s ok, though, because you’re so perfect.

I managed to be really productive today, working for about three hours straight on all my immediate homework. I still have tons that I should be doing, but I got a lot done that I didn’t think I’d be able to in one day. I even took a ten minute break to start sketching Captain Emo. I know, it’s nerdy. For proof of my nerdiness just look at Brandon’s website. Anyway, I came up with part of the costume and decided that my hair will always be covering my face. Not only is it emo as hell, but it saves me from having to draw eyes and a nose (unless I’m being held prisoner or something forces me to pin my hair back).

I also downloaded even more ringers for my cell phone yesterday. Brandon is now Tiny Dancer, Leahanne is Anna Begins and Katie is I Don’t Wanna Be. Everyone else is the same. Oh, and Brandon’s image is now the cast of Dawson’s Creek. Be jealous! If anyone wants a specific ringer, just message me and consider it done…unless I don’t like it. Then go screw yourself. Ok, well I’m hungry so I’m gonna go eat and then see what happened to Gugglie’s room (he called me earlier). Before I leave I just wanted to let all of the Perfects know that you’re so fucking perfect!

Well hello there. First I’d like to say how happy I am that Brandon and Leahanne are updating their websites regularly. Also, I loved Brandon’s post from a few days ago…I’m glad you’re confident enough to admit that you suck.

So last night I watched a movie for the first time since I got back to Austin. (I watched Gangs of New York but that was for a project) I saw Sky Captain, which I had been really excited about…unfortunately, I was very disappointed. Visually, it looked pretty great. Some scenes (especially NY) were amazing and the style was perfect. There wasn’t much else, though. The acting wasn’t awful, but I expected MUCH more from these actors. I don’t blame them though, I blame the direction. This movie’s direction was terrible. Gwyneth Paltrow looked retarded as she ran from the robots in one of the opening scenes, the blocking always looked awkward and the actors looked like they were acting on a green screen. Now I know this isn’t green screen’s fault, because Lucas makes it work with his actors and Rodriguez is gonna make it the most kick ass way to make movies with Sin City. It was all the director. This movie would’ve been absolutely amazing if Spielberg had decided to do it. His screenwriting team would’ve removed the crap that was most of the story and focused honoring the genre. Personally, I wish the entire movie had been about robots attacking New York. It’s such a perfect setting for that genre! Instead, only the first fifteen minutes take place there. That’s when the movie starts to suck. Brandon’s in love with it, but I was just too disappointed to give it my recommendation.

In other news, I would like to introduce the world to the new team of superheroes. We all know that New York has far too many heroes already and that’s why our group has decided to be stationed in The Wood. Together we fight to continue television melodrama, create an amazing show about our lives and figure out what the *&$! is going on in Lost. We are the few, the emo, the proud, THE PERFECTS. I was talking to one of my UT friends at lunch, explaining my powers as the Human Tear and she asked what our group was called. At first I said “Ryan Ward is my God”, but then decided that too many people would want to join that group. Instead, I based the name on my own pseudonym, Mr. Perfect, given to me by countless women across the globe. The group consists of Skittles Boy (Formerly Linguistics Boy), The Human Tear (“Tear On!”), Sperm Girl, The Lucky Charm, Diet Coke Queen and Summer from the O.C. (yes, the real one). Together the Perfects protect the Wood from the evil forces that plague our wholesome Quaker town. No, I’m not talking about the gays or the “coloreds”. I’m talking about the crazy ass Quakers themselves. And Mormans, too. Let’s throw in Pearland and Alvin for kicks. They also protect the stars of the WB’s hit drama coming summer of 2020, The Wood. Most importantly, however, they fight to destroy the Sisterhood of Evil Sluts, founded by Sarah and her minions. Keep an eye out for the Perfects around Friendswood and look for their new comics, written by the Pulitzer prize winning duo of Brandon Nowalk and Ryan Ward. Those kids kick ass! Their run on the Perfects is gonna be Fucking Perfect!

I found the apartment that I’m probably going to live in next year. It’s kinda far away, but it will force me to stay at school all day without distractions. That should allow me to get my work done before I get home. The apartment is pretty nice; I’ll have my own room and we have a washer/dryer. I’ll also be able to play tennis more often. I’m pretty excited, it should be fun.