I have nothing to do at work, so I thought I would try to start writing another update. I was inspired by Brandon and his website ending their separation, and moving on to the amazing make-up updating. His pictures of the day for October have been pretty incredible. I will go out on a limb and say that they are the best pictures he has taken thus far. Also, if he doesn’t submit the “Fuck You” picture to PostSecret, I will.
I feel like I need to go on a random shopping spree. I have all this money from working and nothing to do with it. Even if I save a few hundred dollars for Italy, I can still just go buy a bunch of crap that I want. Unfortunately, no amount of money would buy back my dignity…
I am going to take this opportunity to publicly challenge any ranked tennis player to a singles match. They will all undoubtedly refuse my offer, and then I’ll have a logical argument proving my dominance in the sport.
While I’m at work I listen to Launchcast to avoid falling asleep in front of my computer screen. Anyway, most of the music that I’ve rated is like four years old, because I started using it during summer 2002. For that reason, every fourth or fifth song is inevitably Dashboard Confessional, or some forgotten pop punk band. What’s worse is that it’s been so long since I listened to that music that I actually enjoy listening to it. I have never been more ashamed of myself. At least I have Chris Carraba to comfort my broken heart.
My confidence is boosted every time I get a perfect score on the quizzes I test for CompassLearning. Sure, it’s basic 3rd grade reading comprehension, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that I aced that bitch!
I took my own advice today by leaving my second class 45 min early. I’m not quite to the point where I can skip the whole class, but I’m getting there. I went home, watched Veronica Mars, and made baked zucchini and squash for lunch. I swear, I’m a pair of leather pants and custom window treatments away from being gay. I blame Jose…and Leahanne.
Yesterday when I got home from the library Jose and Angel were dressed in their Halloween costumes, cooking dinner. I opened the door to be met by a spandex-clad Angel, and Robin the gay Mexican boy wonder. It seems like everyone is getting ridiculously excited about Halloween, while I haven’t even thought about what I will dress up as, if I decide to play along. I feel like an old Christian woman who denounces little children as devil-worshipers, and Halloween as a meaningless commercial holiday. I don’t know why, but I haven’t really gotten into the spirit of dress-up day since I was a kid. It’s strange, because I spent the majority of high school playing dress up in front of an audience of strangers. Anyway, if anyone wants to help me understand the appeal of Halloween, feel free to recommend a costume idea.
Butterscotch cookies are in a league of their own. If Katie loves me she’ll make some tonight and surprise me with them. I’m not saying she has to do it, but I’ll be pissed if she doesn’t.
I’m not liking the current state of Xanga. With the exception of Veronica, no one has updated in months. Now that I’m temporarily back in the mood, I feel like everyone should also be updating. As further incentive, I’m bringing back Damn-Damns. Unlike regular Damn-Damns, however, these carry special weight. For that reason, I shall refer to them as Platinum Elite Damn-Damns.
First up, Brandon gets 10 P.E. Damn-Damns, for leading the resurgence. Keep up the daily updates so I don’t have to mutiny…
Mother Nature gets 1000 Platinum coated Damn-Damns for finally making it cold, and allowing me to wear warmer clothing. There were a few days last week that came very close to perfection.
Veronica gets 3 P.E. Damn-Damns for her update, but she’s gonna have to put the drink down and start standing by her promise of “bringing Xanga back” if she wants any more.
Katie’s Damn-Damns got stolen by a bum who accosted her in West Campus because she thought it would be fun to walk home after dark.
Leahanne gets half a Damn-Damn for showing concern over my near-breakdown last week, but her lack of communication with her apartment/the world prevents her from gaining my praise. If she updates her website, or adds a picture of me ANYWHERE, I may reconsider.
Katherine is dead to me. Unless she talks to me within the next week, she runs the risk of becoming the new Leahanne. Now most people will tell me that friendships are a two-way street and I’ve been just as busy as Katherine, blah, blah. Those people obviously don’t understand that my friendship is a privilege, and should not be taken lightly. It’s perfectly acceptable for me to ignore everyone I know until I am ready to talk, and the expect them to drop what they are doing and cater to my will.
That brings me to Joanna…she gets 10 P.E. Damn-Damns for putting up with my drunken tirades, and serving as my verbal punching bag. However, if she doesn’t update her Xanga in the next week the verbal abuse is going to reach a new level…
In response to Brandon’s “Pretentious Assertion of the Day”, I offer the following Pretentious Joke of the Day: Descartes is sitting in a bar, having a drink. The bartender asks him if he would like another. “I think not,” he says and vanishes in a puff of logic.
One more, for good measure:
Prophecy of the day: Katie will die still waiting out for Brandon “to come to his senses”.
I think Brandon is trying too hard with the whole ice-skating thing. We get it, you’re here, you’re queer…we’re used to it. Since you’re going for the stereotype, however, I think you should open up a B&B, start doing yoga, and listen to house music.
I’m disappointed in Katie for not adding any notches to the Cage since the beginning of last month.
I don’t have much else to say, but I have thirty minutes left to kill before I can leave work so I’m going to keep writing. I think we should all go camping for a night sometime before Thanksgiving! I really want to go to Enchanted Rock, and it’s really close. I know it’s going to be impossible to get everyone to find time, but we should get a group of 4-8 together and just go. Also, we still need to randomly meet up in Dime “Bag” Box, and chat with the locals.
This Friday I get to hang out with Joanna’s lab friends. I hope to get drunk and then start shouting “MURDERERS! All of you!”, while ripping off my shirt to reveal “Save the Turtles” written in blood across my chest.
I’ll leave you with that image.